Bola and I took a really impromptu gratefulness getaway. It was actually supposed to be a solo trip for me. A solo trip so that I could get some much overdue creative work done - it has been so backed up in my spirit. Anyway, something told me to book two nights away instead of one and now I know why.
When I told Bola that I would be leaving in the afternoon for my retreat he really insisted in dropping me off at my hotel, and I accepted his love and agreed after some reluctancy. Because we arrived so late, he was able to find a parking space near by and he came up to meet me.
He knocked at the hotel room door. I was setting up the camera to face the bed. I’m coming, “I called though the door.” A few moments passed by and I wasn’t ready yet. “I’m still coming,” I yelled again.
Once I was done, I ran over to the door, with the biggest grin on my face, ready to welcome Bola into our sacred sanctuary for the night.
I didn’t know it yet, but opening that door to him, meant opening up so much more.
I am calling this our ‘gratefulness getaway’ because, like all the other couple care things we do, which I’ll mention down below, this one, right here, right now, is the one that shifts the paradigms of our relationship for the better, forever.
I’m already so grateful for the memories that this time and space are creating.
Life after kids really changes the structure of a relationship. If the structure changes. Everything else changes too - and if you were never prepared for this, you’re going to feel a bit frazzled by it. You’ll feel a strain in your relationship and you won’t even know where to start when it comes to fixing it. Here’s some insight which has helped our beautiful relationship blossom after becoming parents.
what is couple care?
It’s basically the exact same thing as self care, but for your relationship.
why is it important?
It’s important because, similar to the relationship you have with your self, the relationship with your significant WILL have a SIGNIFICANT effect on you, so it is on both of your best interests to make it a good one.
how can you make your relationship a good one?
You can make time together. This is important because with every moment you spend together you are building a bond. The more frequent and the more positive the time spent together, the better the bond, the better the relationship and the better your life.
You can be 100% honest with each other. I preface this by saying, you need to acknowledge the wholeness of the other person and realise that their experience and perspective is not an attack on you if they mention something uncomfortable, it is their truth and it is not personal. Similarly the way you view them and or their actions is only from your perspective and if it feels personal it is unchecked triggers within yourself that are coming up and need some attention.
Share new experiences together. There is nothing as good, for your brain’s health and development, like a positive new experience. There is nothing better for your relationship than for your new experiences to include your loved one.
Find a common interest. Find something you both love and bond over it, meet up regularly and grow your skills and awareness together.
Knowing each other’s likes, needs and preferences. By being aware of each other’s personal needs and wants we, will be able to do use our time and attention helping them to feel loved by offering these things to them, as you do this for them, they too will do it for you and your relationship will have such strength.